Have you ever been certain something is true until you allow your story to change?

We are often described as “story-making” animals. Our brains are constantly sorting, categorising and filling in gaps so that the world feels understandable and predictable. Most of the time, this is incredibly useful. It allows us to make quick decisions, learn from experience and stay safe.

But sometimes, the stories our minds create feel very convincing while being only partially true (or not true at all).

In therapy, this is often described as a thinking trap: a pattern where the brain jumps to conclusions, fills in missing information, or treats one possible explanation as the only explanation. Anxiety, in particular, thrives on certainty. When something feels unclear or uncomfortable, the mind often rushes to an answer so that uncertainty can be reduced even if that answer is frightening.

Recently, I noticed a strong, unpleasant smell in my home. It seemed to be coming from the kitchen, which also happens to be where my dog sleeps. I checked the drains, cleaned thoroughly, and eventually decided the smell must be my dog. From there, my thoughts escalated quickly: she smells far worse than usual; something must be seriously wrong; what if she’s very ill?

My brain had found an explanation and treated it as fact.

I acted on this story – cleaning, checking, booking a vet appointment until one day I noticed the same smell in my car. My dog hadn’t been in the car for weeks. Suddenly, the certainty cracked. If the smell was there too, what else might be true?

That question created space. Space for doubt, curiosity and alternative explanations. Eventually, it turned out I had a mild sinus infection that was affecting my sense of smell. The original story felt completely real but it wasn’t the whole picture.

In this situation, the consequences were minor. But in other areas of life, acting on unchallenged thoughts can lead to conflict, avoidance, regret or deepening anxiety.

Therapeutic work often involves learning to pause between a thought and an action and gently ask:

• Is this the only explanation?
• What evidence supports this?
• What else might be true?

This isn’t about positive thinking or dismissing concerns. It’s about keeping the door open. When we allow uncertainty instead of rushing to certainty, we often respond more thoughtfully… and with more kindness toward ourselves.  Claire Messenger www.talktherapywithclaire.org