When someone asks you, “How would you describe yourself?” what is the first answer that comes to mind?

Our sense of identity is complex, layered, and often shaped long before we have a voice of our own. From the moment we are born, we are given labels; some helpful, some limiting, and some that no longer fit who we are today.

Understanding Identity and Self-Perception

Beyond our name, many of the labels we carry are assigned to us by others. These labels can be repeated, reinforced, or quietly discarded over time and importantly, you do have a choice in which ones you keep.

Identity is closely tied to how we see ourselves. It influences our confidence, our relationships, and the way we move through the world.

Most people introduce themselves using roles or external markers, such as:

“I’m a sister” or “I’m a husband” “I’m a software engineer” or “I’m a student ” “I’m a teenager” or “I’m xy years old”

These descriptions are not wrong, they form part of our identity, but they are far from the whole picture.

The Power of Labels

We also describe ourselves using personality-based labels, such as:

“I’m an introvert” or “I’m an extrovert” “I’m a caring person” “I’m selfish” or even “I’m a narcissist”

Some labels are given to us by others; some we accept, and others we reject. Often, they are shaped by experiences, relationships, and how we have learned to make sense of ourselves.

Over time, certain labels can become restrictive. They may no longer reflect who we are or who we want to be.

Identity and Change in Counselling

In counselling theory, change begins with awareness. The first step is recognising the labels and beliefs about your identity that you no longer want to carry.

From there, change becomes possible:

Identifying what you want to change

Gently exploring what a healthier or more authentic version of yourself might look like

Practising new ways of thinking, behaving, and relating to yourself

This process takes time, compassion, and support.

How Therapy Can Help

A qualified therapist can support you in exploring your identity, processing unhelpful labels, and developing a stronger, healthier sense of self.

Many of my clients come to therapy seeking:

Greater confidence

Healthier self-esteem

Freedom from limiting or outdated labels

Through counselling, it is possible to reconnect with who you are beyond expectations, roles, and assumptions.

If you’d like to explore this further, get in touch to find out more. www.talktherapywithclaire.org