After the practical (cost, time, online or in person), there are so many factors that might influence who you choose and that’s okay. This is your therapy and your choice. Even if that choice has limits (eg NHS or charities offering free therapy), these questions can help you clarify your needs.

1. What am I hoping to change or understand?

Therapy works best when you have an idea of what you want to explore, even if it’s vague (eg “feeling stuck,” or “I repeat the same patterns”).

2. What kind of relationship do I want with my therapist?

Do you prefer a warm, conversational style or want more structured feedback or goal-oriented guidance? It’s okay to let them know, this is helpful to a therapist and there is no “wrong” answer.

3. Does this therapist’s approach make sense to me?

Ask how they work: cognitive, psychodynamic, integrative, existential, etc. You don’t have to know all the jargon, this can help you figure out if their way of explaining therapy feels right to you. You can ask what these words mean to them if you’re unclear. If you don’t understand something, it should feel okay to say so and to ask. If you know a little about an approach and like the sound of it, I’d also recommend mentioning it.

4. Do I feel comfortable and understood after the first session?

The early sense of rapport (the “fit”) is one of the strongest predictors of whether therapy will help. Some nervousness is normal, feeling unheard or talked down to shouldn’t be.

5. How will we know if it’s working?

A good therapist will talk with you about progress and invite feedback or reviews from time to time. This will be personal to you and not just symptom relief, but indicators might be feeling freer, clearer, or more engaged in your life. Post by talktherapywithclaire.org