One of the emotions that I hear frequently denied is anger. I have heard from many people that they don’t get angry, as though it doesn’t happen. They may accept or acknowledge that some things are frustrating or annoying but anger – “no, not me”. T

This common denial of anger seems a really important theme to me, perhaps with the underlying assumption or belief that anger is bad. This is something we might be taught in childhood and from society: angry people are unpleasant and even dangerous.

Anger is an emotion, a feeling and as such is not dangerous or bad at all. Reacting in anger may result in consequence even verbally lashing out and definitely physical expressions of anger or rage may be dangerous but anger itself if allowed to be felt and to pass like the wave or cloud that it is will not harm anyone.

What might anger be telling you? Anger might suggest that a situation is unfair or an to be adjustment is required? Anger is often promoting protection and underlying it could be fear so what if we paused and noticed, got curious to explore what this feeling is telling us?

Where there is a pull or push to act on anger, it is such good practice to pause – write it down, walk or move to music, speak to a safe person – so that the feeling can be allowed and can pass rather than be compressed and pressurised for later. Talking therapies are a useful space for exploring feelings and thoughts around them. A qualified counsellor can provide a safe and boundaried environment to help you make sense of all feelings.